capitaLOLs

Hockey players are liars

2011-07-09T13:28:00.006-04:00

Since Eric Fehr just got traded to Winnipeg, I thought I'd share my one story about meeting him, which was at last year's season ticket holder party at Six Flags ...

My girlfriend, Karen, and I were standing near the front of the line for one of the rides. We've been to these before at Six Flags and skip the autograph sessions and hit the rides while people are waiting in line for autographs. After the players are done signing, then most of them can be spotted in the park hitting the rides.

As we were waiting to get on the very first car (usually a longer line) at this ride, we were almost next in line for the next car when Eric Fehr and Brooks Laich got the super-secret bypass and went directly to the front of the line because they are big-time hockey players.

Karen and I were like, "OMG! It's Eric Fehr and Brooks Laich!" Actually, she was all like, "OMG! It's Brooks Laich!"

Anyway, I have this theory that I've heard others support that hockey players lie about how tall they are. I saw Chris Bourque listed as 5'9" at CSN one time. Seriously. There are some shenanigans going on.

So as we were standing there in line, I casually shuffled over and stood next to Fehr and made eye contact with Karen as if to say, "Check to see if he's lying about his height."

Fehr is listed as 6'4". I'm 6'3".

Suddenly, Fehr noticed that I was really close to him and smiled and said, "Hey, what's up!" or something like that. Karen immediately told him that I thought all hockey players were big fat liars and fibbed about how tall they really were. Or something like that. Fehr laughed, we bantered a bit, and it was decided that we would stand next to each other to see who was taller.

(Laich didn't seem to notice all this was going on, instead intent on ensuring he was on the next roller coaster car leaving the station).

We stood next to each other, and wouldn't you know it, Fehr was an inch taller than me. More laughs, he and Laich got on the next roller coaster car and were gone.

Later, Karen told me Fehr was on his tip toes when we were standing next to each other.

Hockey players are liars.

You can't stop Matt Bradley, you can only hope to contain him

2011-07-07T08:58:00.004-04:00

Late season 2010, padding his stats against Chris Chelios and the Atlanta Thrashers.

King Hank finally contains Matt Bradley ... but forgets about everyone else

I don't see Matt Bradley jumping off the bench to intervene here. Which leads us to the final installment ...

Brian Boucher can't stop a beach ball

2011-05-05T14:12:00.002-04:00

I find when I'm feeling down, there's nothing more exhilirating than pointing out the shortcomings of others.

Caps down 2-0 in series, fans protest in front of White House

2011-05-02T09:32:00.003-04:00

Pic blatantly stolen from Clydeorama.

Henrik Sedin and every school girl's fantasy

2011-04-29T12:48:00.001-04:00

Charlie bit me!

2011-04-25T09:41:00.002-04:00

And remember, if somebody actually did bite Avery, he deserved it anyway. Thanks to Jen and Laura Sigwart (421 r3pr3z3nt!).

Watching the game at home, I swear after the dustup near the end of the game, Matt Hendricks said to Avery, "Go home!"

Neuvirth summarizes Game 1

2011-04-14T14:39:00.003-04:00

Separated at birth

2011-04-04T12:08:00.002-04:00

If there were any Nick Backstrom bobbleheads left over, the Capitals can save them for future use if they ever acquire a Staal brother.

Reservoir Caps

2011-03-29T14:39:00.004-04:00

Floating out in the Twitterverse was this shot from 25stanley.com (it's in French) of our boys leaving a Tim Horton's in Montreal. Clydeorama said "Reservoir Dogs right there," and I went from there.

If you kids need someone to explain it to you ...

Opponents should be wary of Semen shooting all over the ice

2011-03-09T23:47:00.001-05:00

From the Yahoo recap of the Capitals-Oilers game. I kid you not.

The Warrior

2011-03-08T16:22:00.000-05:00

Too bad the Lightning were shooting at the walls of heartache.

No shame

2011-03-02T15:29:00.008-05:00

Although this isn't his pic, stick-tap to Clydeorama for the inspiration. Just getting in a charliesheen-ism before they get old. Well, if they ever get old.

We've missed Good Sasha

2011-02-17T09:08:00.007-05:00

Maybe Sasha is looking to a career in Moto GP after hockey.

Helpful homemaking tips from Claude Giroux

2011-01-19T10:31:00.002-05:00

Mike Knuble: Penguin Killer

2011-01-03T12:59:00.003-05:00

More fodder from the National Aviary visit.

Knuble had a power-play goal to tie the game Saturday, and he had a shorty in the third period that tied it up in the first Caps-Pens game. Last season, his shootout goal gave the Caps the win in the last game against the Penguins at home (plus the first goal of the game), and of course the winner in overtime in the Snowvechkin game.

Yeah, I'd run, too, if I was a penguin.

Sid, The Socially Awkward Penguin

2011-01-02T19:00:00.002-05:00

National Aviary visit in Pittsburgh

2011-01-01T15:36:00.007-05:00

With the Winter Classic pushed back until 8 p.m., Karen and I were trying to figure out something to kill time. What do you do in Pittsburgh on a holiday when most places were closed? We found that the National Aviary was open with 600+ birds including some African Penguins.

Sidney the African Penguin (see the name on the band around the wing). Surprisngly, he was a little lazy and didn't make his tankmates any better. They actually seemed to resent him during feeding time when he suddenly got a burst of energy and went to the front of the line. Very selfish. What an asshole.

The exhibit was designed to put the penguins in an environment that did not impede them from their natural habits. Here's one diving.

The National Aviary officials observed this happening but didn't do anything to discipline the penguins.

Unfortunately, this guy wasn't allowed in the exhibit with the penguins.

Perrceaucet

2010-12-28T09:46:00.002-05:00

Kind of like the upside of getting wisdom teeth removed, the upside of an NHL defenseman knocking you silly. (The photo credit is awesome.)

The return of Perreault-ChoCinco

2010-12-10T10:08:00.002-05:00

Must-see TV: Capitals-Rangers at The Garden

2010-12-10T08:49:00.006-05:00

What is in the water at the Garden?

After taking on Tomas Fleishmann and the Colorado Avalanche tomorrow night, the Capitals will travel to (__insert cliche nickname for New York City__) to take on the Rangers Sunday at 7 p.m.. This, NBC, should be must-see TV, because Madison Square Garden has been the site for weird, wild Caps-Rangers hockey the past few years.

Dec. 23, 2008: Fresh off The Nittymakki Game where the Flyers pummeled the Caps 7-1 in Philadelphia, the Rangers scored three goals in the first period then added another one early in the second to go up 4-0. So in five-plus periods, the Caps had been outscored 11-1. Then Alex Ovechkin lobbed the puck somewhere toward Brooklyn, Henrik Lundquist reached out to grab with his glove hand, and the puck squirted backwards like Keith Hernandez's spit in the "Seinfeld" parody of "JFK." The most dangerous lead against the Capitals is a three-goal lead. Goals by Fleishmann, Viktor Kozlov then Ovechkin again tied it up. Then in overtime, birthday boy Shaone Morrisonn -- SHAONE MORRISONN!!! -- ended it with a slap shot from just inside the blueline. This, along with The Kick and The Pick, were saved on my DVR for the longest time (probably deleted it the night I got home from Game 7 against the Penguins.)

April 20, 2009: Not that wild of a game, but after the Capitals dropped two at home to the Rangers in the first round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs, they needed a win. Semyon Varlamov delivered with his first career shutout at the NHL level as the Caps rolled 4-0. I still remember Tom Poti skating with arms raised in triumph as his third-period goal put the nail in the coffin and could almost hear Rangers fans saying "Poti sucks!" through clenched jaws. (Although it didn't happen in New York, Matt Bradley victimized King Henry in Game 5 with two goals, one of them a shorty. This is foreshadowing.)

Nov. 17, 2009: Bradley and Aaron Voros dropped the mittens in the first period, and Bradley went off to the locker room in a bloody mess. With the game tied 2-2 in the third period, who broke the tie? Matt Bradley. Brian Pothier added an empty-netter, but Bradley's goal remained as the game winner.

Feb. 4, 2010: A wild shootout, the teams combined for six second-period goals (after combining for three in the first). At one point, the Rangers converted on three straight power plays -- all unanswered -- to take a 5-3 lead. But that was it for their scoring. Ovechkin scored with a few seconds left in the second period to cut it to 5-4. Poti -- who was probably getting heckled with "Poti sucks!" as he shot -- tied it up a minute into the third period, and Nicklas Backstrom notched the game winner five minutes later. Backstrom finished with four assists -- all primary -- on the night to total five points.

Nov. 9, 2010: The twitter before the game was whether DJ King would suit up so he could fight the behemoth Derek Boogaard. They both got the nod, so how soon until they dropped the gloves? The answer: Never. It was Mike Green and Brandon Dubinsky (both on my fantasy team, so I was doing a fist pump because it was an instant 10 penalty minutes) who went at it. This was after Brian Boyle (?!) had given New York the early lead. After Brooks Laich tied it, Boyle gave New York the lead again after normally steady Karl Alzner whiffed on a clearing attempt on the penalty kill. Then John Erskine (?!) scored his first goal since January to tie it up. Then Boogaard (??!!!!!!) took advantage of a whiff by Tyler Sloan on a dump-in to take the puck on a breakaway (!!!!!!!!) and "Boom-headshot!" the puck past Michal Neuvirth. Never fear, though, Old Man Knuble tied it back up on a juicy rebound from an Ovechkin shot. In the third period, Lundquist's nemesis, Matt Bradley, fired a pass from behind the net that Matt Hendricks put past King Hank for the game winner.

Interesting that all these have come with King Henry in net. I hope for the sake of The Alzner Beards, Martin Biron gets the nod Sunday.

Tom Poti, shutdown defenseman

2010-11-30T23:48:00.004-05:00

Seeing how Ryan Malone was in the vicinity, maybe Poti was just trying to protect Uncle Varly from a piggyback ride.

Fantasy hockey update

2010-11-30T12:04:00.006-05:00

The Alzner Beards completed the week 7-1-1 and have won in three of the last four weeks to get to the .500 level overall (30-30-3) and fourth place overall.

The good news has been my defensemen -- Mike Green, Kris Letang, Lubomir Visnovsky and Jack Johnson. Combined 14-51-65 (in something like 85 games). Green and Letang have also combined for 50 penalty minutes (the highlight being when Green danced with Brandon Dubinsky ... and I had Dubinsky in my starting lineup at the time).

In net, Kari Lehtonen actually has slightly better numbers than King Hank (2.61/.914 versus 2.64/.918) plus three more wins.

(Not anything to do with my team, but as I'm typing this, ~~tweets~~ news comes out that Flash has been traded.)

The bad news is that Chris Stewart, who leads my team in goals and PIMs, broke his hand in a fight over the weekend and is out four to six weeks. And my only IR spot is already taken by Zach Parise, so there will be some smoke and mirrors and roster juggling for awhile so hopefully I won't have to drop either Parise or Stewart. I'm also still trying to find some production at LW with Ryan Malone, David Booth and Ray Whitney in the lineup there.

Still, my fantasy baseball skills are doing OK so far.

Fort Varly

2010-11-29T19:59:00.005-05:00

Photo by Clydeorama.

The Mike Green Express

2010-11-29T08:19:00.004-05:00

On the way home from the Capitals-Hurricanes game last night, we got caught in stop-and-go stopped traffic on I95 north of The Beltway (seriously, at 10 p.m. on a Sunday night???!!) for about an hour (seriously???!!!!). The only bright spot was pulling up next to this:

Yes, The Mike Green Express. I thought he lived in the Arlington area ... no idea why he was heading toward Maryland.

The man with two girls names

2010-11-09T08:17:00.006-05:00

Maybe Shelley and Sasha can have a contest.

Another clydeorama photo.

Leino taken down by a sniper

2010-11-08T13:32:00.004-05:00

Later, more snipers -- including that one who plays defense -- took out the rest of the Flyers.

Photo by clydeorama.

You know it, I know it, the American people know it

2010-11-06T01:57:00.004-04:00

Stay out of earshot of the opposing goalie if you're pretending not to know English (even if you've been in the country for most of the past eight years).

Make like a tree and Leaf

2010-11-01T13:41:00.005-04:00

I have been waiting to post this one for awhile. A Toronto Maple Leafs fan did this video recap after the Leafs and Caps squared off Jan. 15, which was their last matchup during the '09-'10 season. ~~Down Goes Brown whipping boy~~ Everybody's favorite goalie you want to see in net against your team, Vesa Toskala, followed up a 4-0 shutout (no, seriously, he had a shutout) of the Philadelphia Flyers by allowing five goals in 15 shots against the Caps.

"This Toskala looked like he couldn't even stop anything."

"I don't think Vesa Toskala can handle ~~NHL~~ back-to-back games."

"... Alex Ovechkin scored, Brendan Fehr scored ..." ????

Unfortunately, Toskala won't be in net this time around -- he was traded to Calgary before the end of last season and didn't sign with anyone, not even a KHL team, during the offseason.

Saturday night's alright for fighting

2010-10-10T12:06:00.008-04:00

Sabourin notices there aren't as many Caps jerseys for the post-game celebration. (The LOL within the LOL, note the numbering sequence.)

The only thing I was thinking was, "I hope Ilya doesn't kill Green."

Kinda funny that one guy who DIDN'T fight was John Erskine.

Of note with my fantasy hockey squad The Alzner Beards, I had replaced John Carlson with Jack Johnson for my weekly lineup. Prior to this game. One goal, two assists and 12 PIM down the drain.

Photos by clydeorama.

Fantasy hockey for a blind homer

2010-10-06T10:04:00.008-04:00

I signed on for an online fantasy hockey league for the first time. The league has a few Caps fans (including Clydeorama) and is aptly named "Schultzie." My team name is The Alzner Beards mainly because there was a 20-character limit on team names, and I couldn't use "You Win Some, You Clitsome."

I'm admittedly one of those bandwagon Caps fans (although I was at Glen Hanlon's last game and Boudreau's first home game) and my hockey knowledge outside of the Capitals is limited but improving watching "NHL On The Fly."

We had a live draft, and I did absolutely zero preparation. Sounds like a recipe for disaster, right? Well, I've been in a fantasy baseball league for the past three seasons and prepared exactly the same way ... and finished 2nd, 2nd and 4th, respectively, over the past three years. I used to be a HUGE baseball fan but my interest has slowly waned since the strike ended the 1994 season. So in comparison, my knowledge on baseball was probably even less when that league started than my knowledge on hockey now.

Yahoo does help you "cheat" a little by ranking all the players so all you have to do is click on a player and click "Draft" when the time comes. I also had another browser window opened and checked the latest news on potential players. Chuckled a bit when somebody drafted Mark Streit ("He's out 'til February, dummy!") and knew not to touch Kyle Okposo (he's hurt too ... the poor Isles).

The secret to my success in fantasy baseball was watching trends during the season, especially on players who were in the free agent pool. My teams rarely resembled the teams I drafted, especially with the case of pitching, so I'm hoping to translate that success into hockey.

Anyway without further adieu, the 2010-2011 Alzner Beards:

Offense:
Zach Parise - Anze Kopitar- Chris Stewart
Ryan Malone - Jason Spezza - Joe Pavelski
Andrew Brunette - Travis Zajac - Mike Knuble

Defense:
Mike Green - Kris Letang
Lubomir Visnovsky - John Carlson

Goalies:
Henrik Lundquist - Kari Lehtonen

Bench:
David Booth (LW)
Jack Johnson (D)
Antti Miettinen (RW)
Mike Fisher (C)

Only three Capitals, and where I drafted them was probably about where anybody else would have drafted them. Although with Carlson, I told myself that if he was still available and I had one D to fill, I was going to take him.

Are they good? I don't know. Never heard of Lubomir Visnovsky until last night (although my scouting-on-the-fly has him on the top PP unit with Anaheim and Ryan Getzlaf, Bobby Ryan and Corey Perry), but it's a long season and I can release people if they start to suck.

Ovechkin vs. Boychuk, tonight!!!

2010-09-28T11:37:00.006-04:00

Bruins defenseman Johnny Boychuk is on the roster for tonight's preseason tilt at The Phonebooth against the Capitals. You remember Johnny Boychuk, right?

Hard to find motivation for a preseason game, but there ya go.

Pictures without words

2010-09-22T14:15:00.005-04:00

First time seeing the Capitals in the pre-season, so I commemorated the event by finding the most un-marred piece of glass at Kettler and took some pictures. Here are a few, but they all can be seen here.

Practice begins at 11:15 sharp and not a minute (or four) before!!

Best hockey fight ever

2010-07-27T12:03:00.002-04:00

The video cut off before Matt Bradley skated in and pummeled the bigger kid who knocked Mazza down.

"Pick on somebody your own size!! Oh and tell your mommy and daddy to recycle or your daddy's next."

Russian Machine never shows public display of affection

2010-07-13T07:44:00.006-04:00

(One of my favorite "Pulp Fiction" references.) Ian from Russian Machine Never Breaks and Michael Jenkins from Comcast Sports Net at the official Michael Jenkins Fan Club Party (seriously, he has a fan club).

Actually, there might be a little more "Brokeback Mountain" bromance going on!

Ryan Getzlaf vs Bobby Ryan

2010-06-25T11:02:00.001-04:00

From the NHL awards show:

Good thing they didn't see who had the biggest head because Getzlaf's noggin is like Sputnik. I'm not kidding, it's like an orange on a toothpick.

I'm trying to tell you now it's ...

2010-06-17T10:49:00.002-04:00

Wait for it. It's worth it.

Bear essentials

2010-06-09T10:47:00.002-04:00

Ovechkin vs Laich for the IIHF World Championship belt

2010-05-21T09:40:00.003-04:00

Laich of course wouldn't have gone after Ovi because he knows Matt Bradley would have arrived with his super speed and given him a beat down.

See you on course

2010-05-13T11:57:00.002-04:00

In the "I couldn't have said it better myself" department, Jamie Fitzpatrick of about.com writes:

Despite scoring ten points in seven games in Washington's stunning loss to the Canadiens, Alex Ovechkin was called out as a flawed player who needs to develop, and compared unfavorably to Crosby, who now stood "Alone at the Top."

Now those same Canadiens have sent the NHL's poster boy packing - and Crosby managed half as many points as Ovechkin.

So will he get a similar scolding?

Or will the media coddle its favorite, as Crosby-haters have so often claimed?

Separated at birth

2010-04-22T14:57:00.004-04:00

Future MLB Hall of Famer Tom Glavine (lower right, if you didn't know).

Ottawa Senators coach Cory Clouston.

Of course, you may know that Glavine was drafted in 1984 by the L.A. Kings ahead of Brett Hull and Luc Robitaile among others, but did you know he also suited up this year for the ECHL Gwinnett Gladiators?

Huckleberry Backstrom

2010-04-19T11:47:00.000-04:00

Angry fans are angry

2010-04-16T09:27:00.004-04:00

In the interest of fair "journalism," here's a video of a Caps fan after the Canadiens overtime winner last night (because if this happened in Montreal to a Habs fan, I'd post it, too):

Also, embedded the video instead of linking to it so you wouldn't have the urge to join in on the YouTube comments (don't look, just don't).

Similarly, from Thursday night, someone puts her fingers in The Shark Tank after the Avalanche score with under a minute in the 3rd period:

Is the sky falling? I just think of the Capitals record the past three playoff series. They won the first one against Philly in '08 but losst the series. Last year, they lost the opener against the Rangers but ended up winning the series. Then they won the first ~~one~~ two against the Penguins but lost the series. It's only logical to think that since the Capitals lost last night that they will win the series. Right? Just sure would have been nice for them to put the Habs down 2-0 since they don't have nearly the firepower the Penguins did.

Pens-Sens series outlook

2010-04-15T12:22:00.003-04:00

The Penguins and Senators each allowed more goals per game during the season than the Capitals. And the Capitals have a goalie/defense "problem"??

Shout out to "Mother Goose and Grimm."

Just another regular season hockey game

2010-04-07T08:45:00.002-04:00

If you aren't losing, you don't have to pull the goalie.

A little housekeeping in Knuble's office

2010-04-06T08:32:00.004-04:00

Mike Knuble doesn't mind people in his office as long as they do some housekeeping.

When you want money, go to the bank. When you want bread, go to the bakery. When you want Books, go to the library. (Hey, at least VS. didn't use a mugshot of Chris Clark.)

87 > 8

2010-04-05T12:36:00.004-04:00

Photo from Saturday's game in Columbus between the Capitals and the Blue Jackets. She was also wearing a Sidney Crosby jersey over her Sidney Crosby T-shirt. I don't know, trolling on message boards is one thing (as is creating a free blog that sometimes mocks opposing players), but to buy a ticket for a game in another city between two other teams just so you can satisfy the insecurity complex you have developed for your boy is just plain wacky.

I'm a huge Nebraska football fan, so maybe I should start hanging out in front of Peyton Manning's house with a sign reading "Mike Rucker pwns you!"

Bradley pwns chelios

2010-04-01T23:05:00.001-04:00

If you don't like the Capitals, you can ...

2010-03-25T08:24:00.003-04:00

And another one ...

Struck by a Lightning

2010-03-22T08:29:00.003-04:00

The Bolts seem to have an affection for Capitals goaltenders. It's only interference when a defenseman pushes you into his goalie, right?

Two dozen and one Penguins

2010-03-17T11:28:00.002-04:00

I'm not a Simpsons nerd, but this episode just sticks with me.

Happy St. Pat's Day!

2010-03-17T11:07:00.000-04:00

Serious condition

2010-03-15T14:29:00.004-04:00

If you watch the Capitals regularly, you've no doubt noticed Alex Semin's random acts of falling. Skating by himself with nobody around him, he falls. Then there was his failed shootout last week against Marty Turco, followed by this breakaway attempt yesterday in Chicago where he ended up sitting in Antti Niemi's lap.

He must be a real hit with the ladies.

Crosby did it

2010-03-09T09:03:00.001-05:00

In the spirit of Puck Daddy's "Crosby Gold Roar Art Contest ...

The deadline has passed

2010-03-04T11:53:00.000-05:00

Perreault-cuatro

2010-02-28T13:45:00.002-05:00

Don't feed the Monsters

2010-02-23T10:08:00.006-05:00

From the Bears game against the Lake Erie Monsters (Bears won their 19th straight home game, 4-1).

I was wondering who heard more jokes growing up, Beagle or GHaydar?

'Tis true. Bourque is listed at 5'10" at TSN.

We were trying to compare Bourque, Mathieu Perreault and Keith Aucoin (the greatest hockey player ever) during warmups since they are each listed at 5'9" at most places, and my money is on Perreault > Aucoin > Bourque. Somebody is lying!!

Not quite a miracle, but it will do

2010-02-22T06:18:00.001-05:00

Alex Semin spotted in Vancouver

2010-02-16T09:32:00.004-05:00

Come on, would anybody be surprised if Sasha was spotted wearing this:

Funny weird not funny ha ha

2010-02-11T09:44:00.003-05:00

Game 7 two years ago against the Flyers (around the 2:33 mark):

And then last night:

Sid vs. ...... Mr Nasty?

2010-02-08T11:27:00.002-05:00

Crosby was probably complaining about Mr. Nasty inappropriately touching him.

King Henry contains Matt Bradley

2010-02-05T12:47:00.002-05:00

Bradley hasn't scored in eight games. He's due!!!

No. 13 Baby

2010-02-05T10:22:00.002-05:00

Thirteen wins in a row would be gigantic.

Little big man

2010-02-02T10:40:00.003-05:00

Martin St. Louis is listed at 5'9", which is kind of tall for someone who is 5'6".

(Photo by Clyde)

You're going to get what you deserve

2010-02-01T13:53:00.005-05:00

Thanks Clyde!

Thanks Carrie!

Note: I include these videos so kids can understand the jokes ("Head Like a Hole" came out in 1989, "Stir Crazy" came out in 1980, and there hasn't been any Headcrushing or Facepinching since 1995).

We bad

2010-01-31T22:30:00.003-05:00

Face pincher

2010-01-29T13:28:00.003-05:00

Former Capital Steve Eminger was retalitating for the vicious head crush that Ovie put on Bobby Ryan.

He's like a moose in an office

2010-01-27T08:26:00.007-05:00

After scoring two goals in 11 games (Caps' record during that stretch: 6-5) since returning from a broken pinky finger, Mike Knuble now has eight goals in his last 10 games. And their record in those last 10? 9-1. Not too shabby.

As Boudreau has said, "He's a moose in front of the net," as seen in this photo posted on Japers' Rink:

Of course, Knubullwinkle has been a veteran influence on his teammates.

Chicken legs

2010-01-26T10:43:00.000-05:00

Man hug

2010-01-25T21:01:00.002-05:00

This has too much potential.

Semin's English is getting better

2010-01-25T14:46:00.002-05:00

Don Cherry

2010-01-25T08:13:00.000-05:00

Get to know a Phoenix Coyote

2010-01-24T00:01:00.005-05:00

It's a little late, but here's a goofy interview with the ~~Anaheim Mighty Ducks~~ Phoenix Coyotes goalie Ilya Bryzgalov:

"It's only game."

"In November months it is a minus 32."

"Eight months in the year snow."

Ilya probably gets along well with Ovi. Both seem to like have fun ... um ... I mean ... like having fun with the media. I'd love to hang out with them in Vancouver.

I was trying to start an "Illllll-yaaaaaa" chant tonight. Didn't catch on. I don't think many other people knew enough about hockey to know who the heck was in net for Phoenix.

Just a meaningless regular season game

2010-01-22T08:20:00.002-05:00

Crosby vs Ovechkin

2010-01-21T11:40:00.007-05:00

I guess the Capitals are playing the Penguins tonight??? Something something ovechkin crosby something.

Anyway, here's a look back from a tussle from a game last season:

For some reason, I don't see Matt Bradley rushing to Ovi's defense.

Which brings me to another thing. Prior to this season, all the Crosby lovers ~~Ovechkin haters~~ said Crosby was better than Ovechkin because Sid was a better "team player" because he had more assists and didn't score as much, and Ovechkin was selfish because he scored goals and didn't dish the puck enough to teammates.

Now, this season, Crosby "came into this season wanting to give the opposition something else to stress about" and has scored more goals than he has assisted in, and he's now "rounded out his game" (see post #21). Now his stats are eerily similar to .... Ovechkin.

Crosby: 32 goals, 31 assists
Ovechkin: 30 goals, 35 assists (playing in nine less games)

So he's wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy better now?

I. Don't. Get it.

Meanwhile, Penguins fans say the Capitals will never win a Stanley Cup because their defense sucks. Last season, the Capitals gave up six (6!) more goals total than the (Stanley Cup Champion) Penguins in the regular season, and so far this season, the Capitals have given up 138 goals in 49 games and the Penguins have given up 143 goals in 51 games. Break out your calculators and you'll see the stifling Penguin D has given up 0.01 less goals per game!

And last but not least, unfortunately the game will be shown in HD, so be wary of who they show in the crowd in the game:

New Capitals action figure

2010-01-20T10:26:00.004-05:00

A new Capitals action figure was unveiled at Verizon Center last night after the Red Wings game:

They will be available for an uncertain length of time, replacing the "Jose Three-Or-More" line of action figures.

Clyde's take, part 2

2010-01-19T07:42:00.005-05:00

Why don't you make like a tree and Leaf?

2010-01-17T22:29:00.004-05:00

Like leftover pizza, Clyde has some guest contributions from the Leafs game:

More to come. I just can't get over the awesomeness of rabid Flyers fans sulking through the third period tonight.

Screenshot from Verizon Center dance cam

2010-01-17T10:28:00.004-05:00

I guess Jose Theodore got snubbed for Canada's Olympic luge team, so he's willing to try ice dancing now. Anything for Olympic glory!

And of course Ponikarovsky has Canadian eligibility since he lives in Toronto.

Get to know your Toronto Maple Leafs

2010-01-15T09:51:00.004-05:00

The Caps are playing the Toronto Maple Leafs tonight, and to get you primed for the game, check out the video of the team Christmas Party (starring former Capitals Coach Ron Wilson) that was obtained by Bloge Salming:

Now, when you are watching the game at home or happen to have tickets (like me), I challenge you to not have the urge to blurt out "Philllll Kessellllllllll!" anytime his name is mentioned or you happen to catch a glimpse of him whether live or on Comcast sweet ~~low-def 72p~~ HD.

I was watching Comcast low-def TV, and an NHL2K10 game broke out

2010-01-13T09:15:00.008-05:00

The Capitals-Lightning game last night was kind of like me playing NHL2K10 on PlayStation 2 when I set the CPU ability to "All Star." Even a mediocre team racks up the goals. Then I get frustrated and turn the CPU ability to "Rookie" for the second period and get back in the game. And then I feel sorry for the mediocre team and turn it back to "All Star," and there are more goals from the opposition.

And then someone you would never expect drops his gloves. And then another you would never expect drops his gloves. (Seriously, NHL2K10 has the most random fights. I've had half the lineup fight at one time or another -- including Ovechkin, Backstrom and Semin.)

Unfortunately last night, I couldn't just re-start the game with a press of a button.

Anyway, if you turned it off midway through the third period, the fireworks hadn't even started yet.

Yup, here comes Brads.

I keep forgetting there should be three options with Matt Bradley:

A. Stop him
B. Contain him
C. If A and B don't work, accept your beatdown.

JapersRink has links to various, um, recaps of the Ovechkin-Bradley-Downie incident.

Thrashers thrashing

2010-01-11T09:41:00.018-05:00

Karen, and I made the trek to Hot-Lanta for the Capitals-Thrashers game. A friend of mine (a Thrashers fan) had a connection for some free tickets, and we were able to sit in row Q in the 100 level behind the Thrashers’ bench, basically on the blue line a few rows behind the tunnel to their locker room. Awesome seats, just in the right place to see most of the action but not too far down near the glass where it seems like you’re in a tunnel and miss some of the action.

I’ve been to every Capitals home game this season with one road game – with the Capitals Road Crew to the 8-2 drubbing on the Flyers in December in Philadelphia (this is foreshadowing).

We went down for warmups, and I got some great action shots of some Capitals drinking water and Gatorade.

For the national anthem, I felt relieved not to hear a single “Oh!” or “Red!” exclamation, but my shoulders sagged when the Atlanta crowd yelled “Night!” My Thrasher buddy said it goes back to the days of the Atlanta Knights.

There were quite a few Capitals fans, not as many as in Philadelphia and no big pockets of fans, just a scattering of 2-4 here and there throughout the arena.

Nothing news worthy about the game. The Caps won in an 8-1 snoozefest.

Seriously, when they were up 4-1 going into the third period, I was hoping the Caps wouldn’t allow a quick goal to get the Thrashers’ momentum going. But then Alex Semin scored (again), and then Dave Steckel (I was wearing my Steckel jersey and was especially happy for that), and then Tom Poti scored basically with half the net open, and finally, mercifully, Jason Chimera put an exclamation on it with his first goal as a Cap.

At the December game in Philadelphia, Mike Green and Thomas Fleishmann came out for the “Three Stars” announcement, and once again on enemy turf, Green came out as the third star, and Mike Knuble came out as the first star.

And now, on to the show:

One from Karen:

The unedited pictures are here, as well as many others.

John Carlson: Money

2010-01-07T15:24:00.003-05:00

Capitals prospect John Carlson's goal to win the World Junior Championship for Team USA:

Too bad he didn't even see it (John Carlson's no-look shot in 20 frames).

To quote a movie (that came out when Carlson was six years old):

Mike: That was so fucking money. That was like the Jedi mind-shit.

Hover Chimera is hovering

2010-01-01T14:36:00.001-05:00

You can't stop him, you can only hope to contain him

2009-12-31T10:54:00.006-05:00

Per Japer's Rink: Matt Bradley has scored at least one goal in more games since Oct. 8 than Alex Semin has.

So he spreads out his awesomeness while Semin shoots his ... whoops ... not going there.

Oh and you all know Daniel Carcillo didn't knock him out, right? It was a dive. In that split second when Carcillo was drawing back for the punch, Professor Bradley quickly calculated that if he acted like he got knocked out, he could induce 9 minutes of power-play time for the Capitals, and that Carcillo would be tossed from the game so nobody would have to look at his bad facial hair any more.

New uniforms for old friends

2009-12-30T12:30:00.004-05:00

Alex Semin stinks

2009-12-29T09:32:00.002-05:00

There was some kind of smell in the Verizon Center last night. Now we know what it was.

Separated at birth

2009-12-28T11:50:00.005-05:00

Actor Jay Baruchel and Michal Neuvirth. Betcha Jay couldn't beat Ryan Miller and Martin Brodeur in back-to-back games, though.

I think Neuvy looks more like Volkswagen TDI Cup racing driver AJ Nealey:

I also think AJ should make an appearance at a Caps game (and they should put his name on the VW Cup car on display on the 4th level).

You can't stop him, you can only hope to contain him

2009-12-27T12:16:00.004-05:00

Matt Bradley boldly predictated before the season that he would score 10 goals. His career high is 9 his second season in San Jose. His ~~rifle shot~~ Phil Niekro knuckleball against Martin Brodeur last night was his 7th of the season, and the Capitals aren't even at the halfway point yet.

Russian Tickle Machine and Smell the Glove

2009-12-26T10:26:00.005-05:00

CapitaLOLs welcomes two contributions from Clyde:

I wonder what Don Cherry's thoughts are of the Russian Tickle Machine. ???

Rivet must not be a Spinal Tap fan.

Merry Holidays!

2009-12-25T17:11:00.002-05:00

Photo from the Army's photostream on Flickr.

Between the legs, over Ryan Miller, nothing but net

2009-12-24T10:45:00.004-05:00

And in case you missed it or want to watch it again and again and again:

Apparently, B-Mo learned his lesson from a couple weeks ago:

Nick Backstrom, hottie

2009-12-23T11:08:00.001-05:00

Separated at birth

2009-12-20T12:21:00.009-05:00

On the left, GMGM (aka Capitals General Manager George McPhee), on the right, Arturs Irbe, Capitals goalie coach.

The next one is a little obscure ...

On the left, Capitals winger Alexander Semin, on the right is Jay Ferguson, the rhythm guitarist (and occasional bass player) for Canadian band Sloan. A lot of people in America have never heard of ~~Alex Semin~~ Sloan, but I've been listening to them for 15+ years, and the first time I saw Semin, I thought, "Hey, it's Jay Ferguson!" (Actually, Jay is a shrinky dink version of ~~Jizz~~ Sasha.)

Jay and the rest of Sloan are from Nova Scotia, as is you-know-who. But listening to Sloan doesn't make me grit my teeth and want to gouge out their eyeballs, unlike you-know-who.

And FWIW, this would make a great pre-game/intermission intro at a Caps game:

Here's one that's more hockey relevant:

Alexandre Giroux of the ~~Washington Capitals~~ Hershey Bears and Patrick Sharp of the Chicago Blackhawks. Which one is which? Just look at their NHL stats to tell the difference.

Hugging match

2009-12-20T11:13:00.003-05:00

The game was interrupted briefly in the second period when Capt. Chris Clark and Steve Staois got into an argument over who could hug the hardest.

Smooth laich glass

2009-12-19T10:19:00.007-05:00

Get it? Glass? Tanner Glass. OK, how about this:

Thankfully only laich five people read this crap.

Anyway, that's probably the weirdest assist by a Capital this season. It tops Philly a couple weeks ago where Eric Fehr had a broken stick assist (as he turned to skate toward the bench to get a new stick).

Chocolate flavored Canuck

2009-12-19T10:13:00.004-05:00

I'm on a roll now.

Hey, I could have said "laich semin."

Rock paper scissors

2009-12-16T09:08:00.005-05:00

At one point in ~~this morning's~~ last night's game, Mike Green and Shaone Morrisonn were both out due to injury, and John Erskine and Tom Poti were in the penalty box. That left the Capitals with two defensemen. Here, Steckel and Bradley do "Rock-paper-scissors" for who gets to play defense next:

Weird, though, Steckel was calling it "Koci-paper-scissors."

Matt Bradley's revealing interview

2009-12-14T07:54:00.003-05:00

Smokin' Al Koken interviewed Matt Bradley after the second period of the Dec. 11 Caps-Canes game after Alexander Semin had tied the game up with two second-period goals. Listen very carefully to the beginning (the audio is out of sync), and Brads reveals what Semin's nickname on the the team is.

On the lam

2009-12-13T16:06:00.003-05:00

Well, there was a mugging in Toronto Saturday night.

Off day

2009-12-11T07:52:00.004-05:00

On non-game days when Coach Boudreau doesn't hold practice, the Capitals players watch game film. When Coach Boudreau leaves the room, they watch something else.