Tuesday, December 28, 2010


Kind of like the upside of getting wisdom teeth removed, the upside of an NHL defenseman knocking you silly. (The photo credit is awesome.)

Friday, December 10, 2010

The return of Perreault-ChoCinco

Must-see TV: Capitals-Rangers at The Garden

What is in the water at the Garden?

After taking on Tomas Fleishmann and the Colorado Avalanche tomorrow night, the Capitals will travel to (__insert cliche nickname for New York City__) to take on the Rangers Sunday at 7 p.m.. This, NBC, should be must-see TV, because Madison Square Garden has been the site for weird, wild Caps-Rangers hockey the past few years.

Dec. 23, 2008: Fresh off The Nittymakki Game where the Flyers pummeled the Caps 7-1 in Philadelphia, the Rangers scored three goals in the first period then added another one early in the second to go up 4-0. So in five-plus periods, the Caps had been outscored 11-1. Then Alex Ovechkin lobbed the puck somewhere toward Brooklyn, Henrik Lundquist reached out to grab with his glove hand, and the puck squirted backwards like Keith Hernandez's spit in the "Seinfeld" parody of "JFK." The most dangerous lead against the Capitals is a three-goal lead. Goals by Fleishmann, Viktor Kozlov then Ovechkin again tied it up. Then in overtime, birthday boy Shaone Morrisonn -- SHAONE MORRISONN!!! -- ended it with a slap shot from just inside the blueline. This, along with The Kick and The Pick, were saved on my DVR for the longest time (probably deleted it the night I got home from Game 7 against the Penguins.)

April 20, 2009: Not that wild of a game, but after the Capitals dropped two at home to the Rangers in the first round of the Stanley Cup Playoffs, they needed a win. Semyon Varlamov delivered with his first career shutout at the NHL level as the Caps rolled 4-0. I still remember Tom Poti skating with arms raised in triumph as his third-period goal put the nail in the coffin and could almost hear Rangers fans saying "Poti sucks!" through clenched jaws. (Although it didn't happen in New York, Matt Bradley victimized King Henry in Game 5 with two goals, one of them a shorty. This is foreshadowing.)

Nov. 17, 2009: Bradley and Aaron Voros dropped the mittens in the first period, and Bradley went off to the locker room in a bloody mess. With the game tied 2-2 in the third period, who broke the tie? Matt Bradley. Brian Pothier added an empty-netter, but Bradley's goal remained as the game winner.

Feb. 4, 2010: A wild shootout, the teams combined for six second-period goals (after combining for three in the first). At one point, the Rangers converted on three straight power plays -- all unanswered -- to take a 5-3 lead. But that was it for their scoring. Ovechkin scored with a few seconds left in the second period to cut it to 5-4. Poti -- who was probably getting heckled with "Poti sucks!" as he shot -- tied it up a minute into the third period, and Nicklas Backstrom notched the game winner five minutes later. Backstrom finished with four assists -- all primary -- on the night to total five points.

Nov. 9, 2010: The twitter before the game was whether DJ King would suit up so he could fight the behemoth Derek Boogaard. They both got the nod, so how soon until they dropped the gloves? The answer: Never. It was Mike Green and Brandon Dubinsky (both on my fantasy team, so I was doing a fist pump because it was an instant 10 penalty minutes) who went at it. This was after Brian Boyle (?!) had given New York the early lead. After Brooks Laich tied it, Boyle gave New York the lead again after normally steady Karl Alzner whiffed on a clearing attempt on the penalty kill. Then John Erskine (?!) scored his first goal since January to tie it up. Then Boogaard (??!!!!!!) took advantage of a whiff by Tyler Sloan on a dump-in to take the puck on a breakaway (!!!!!!!!) and "Boom-headshot!" the puck past Michal Neuvirth. Never fear, though, Old Man Knuble tied it back up on a juicy rebound from an Ovechkin shot. In the third period, Lundquist's nemesis, Matt Bradley, fired a pass from behind the net that Matt Hendricks put past King Hank for the game winner.

Interesting that all these have come with King Henry in net. I hope for the sake of The Alzner Beards, Martin Biron gets the nod Sunday.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Tom Poti, shutdown defenseman

Seeing how Ryan Malone was in the vicinity, maybe Poti was just trying to protect Uncle Varly from a piggyback ride.

Fantasy hockey update

The Alzner Beards completed the week 7-1-1 and have won in three of the last four weeks to get to the .500 level overall (30-30-3) and fourth place overall.

The good news has been my defensemen -- Mike Green, Kris Letang, Lubomir Visnovsky and Jack Johnson. Combined 14-51-65 (in something like 85 games). Green and Letang have also combined for 50 penalty minutes (the highlight being when Green danced with Brandon Dubinsky ... and I had Dubinsky in my starting lineup at the time).

In net, Kari Lehtonen actually has slightly better numbers than King Hank (2.61/.914 versus 2.64/.918) plus three more wins.

(Not anything to do with my team, but as I'm typing this, tweets news comes out that Flash has been traded.)

The bad news is that Chris Stewart, who leads my team in goals and PIMs, broke his hand in a fight over the weekend and is out four to six weeks. And my only IR spot is already taken by Zach Parise, so there will be some smoke and mirrors and roster juggling for awhile so hopefully I won't have to drop either Parise or Stewart. I'm also still trying to find some production at LW with Ryan Malone, David Booth and Ray Whitney in the lineup there.

Still, my fantasy baseball skills are doing OK so far.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Fort Varly

Photo by Clydeorama.

The Mike Green Express

On the way home from the Capitals-Hurricanes game last night, we got caught in stop-and-go stopped traffic on I95 north of The Beltway (seriously, at 10 p.m. on a Sunday night???!!) for about an hour (seriously???!!!!). The only bright spot was pulling up next to this:

Yes, The Mike Green Express. I thought he lived in the Arlington area ... no idea why he was heading toward Maryland.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Monday, November 8, 2010

Leino taken down by a sniper

Later, more snipers -- including that one who plays defense -- took out the rest of the Flyers.
Photo by clydeorama.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

You know it, I know it, the American people know it

Stay out of earshot of the opposing goalie if you're pretending not to know English (even if you've been in the country for most of the past eight years).

Monday, November 1, 2010

Make like a tree and Leaf

I have been waiting to post this one for awhile. A Toronto Maple Leafs fan did this video recap after the Leafs and Caps squared off Jan. 15, which was their last matchup during the '09-'10 season. Down Goes Brown whipping boy Everybody's favorite goalie you want to see in net against your team, Vesa Toskala, followed up a 4-0 shutout (no, seriously, he had a shutout) of the Philadelphia Flyers by allowing five goals in 15 shots against the Caps.

"This Toskala looked like he couldn't even stop anything."

"I don't think Vesa Toskala can handle NHL back-to-back games."

"... Alex Ovechkin scored, Brendan Fehr scored ..." ????

Unfortunately, Toskala won't be in net this time around -- he was traded to Calgary before the end of last season and didn't sign with anyone, not even a KHL team, during the offseason.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Saturday night's alright for fighting

Sabourin notices there aren't as many Caps jerseys for the post-game celebration. (The LOL within the LOL, note the numbering sequence.)

The only thing I was thinking was, "I hope Ilya doesn't kill Green."

Kinda funny that one guy who DIDN'T fight was John Erskine.

Of note with my fantasy hockey squad The Alzner Beards, I had replaced John Carlson with Jack Johnson for my weekly lineup. Prior to this game. One goal, two assists and 12 PIM down the drain.

Photos by clydeorama.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Fantasy hockey for a blind homer

I signed on for an online fantasy hockey league for the first time. The league has a few Caps fans (including Clydeorama) and is aptly named "Schultzie." My team name is The Alzner Beards mainly because there was a 20-character limit on team names, and I couldn't use "You Win Some, You Clitsome."

I'm admittedly one of those bandwagon Caps fans (although I was at Glen Hanlon's last game and Boudreau's first home game) and my hockey knowledge outside of the Capitals is limited but improving watching "NHL On The Fly."

We had a live draft, and I did absolutely zero preparation. Sounds like a recipe for disaster, right? Well, I've been in a fantasy baseball league for the past three seasons and prepared exactly the same way ... and finished 2nd, 2nd and 4th, respectively, over the past three years. I used to be a HUGE baseball fan but my interest has slowly waned since the strike ended the 1994 season. So in comparison, my knowledge on baseball was probably even less when that league started than my knowledge on hockey now.

Yahoo does help you "cheat" a little by ranking all the players so all you have to do is click on a player and click "Draft" when the time comes. I also had another browser window opened and checked the latest news on potential players. Chuckled a bit when somebody drafted Mark Streit ("He's out 'til February, dummy!") and knew not to touch Kyle Okposo (he's hurt too ... the poor Isles).

The secret to my success in fantasy baseball was watching trends during the season, especially on players who were in the free agent pool. My teams rarely resembled the teams I drafted, especially with the case of pitching, so I'm hoping to translate that success into hockey.

Anyway without further adieu, the 2010-2011 Alzner Beards:

Zach Parise - Anze Kopitar- Chris Stewart
Ryan Malone - Jason Spezza - Joe Pavelski
Andrew Brunette - Travis Zajac - Mike Knuble

Mike Green - Kris Letang
Lubomir Visnovsky - John Carlson

Henrik Lundquist - Kari Lehtonen

David Booth (LW)
Jack Johnson (D)
Antti Miettinen (RW)
Mike Fisher (C)

Only three Capitals, and where I drafted them was probably about where anybody else would have drafted them. Although with Carlson, I told myself that if he was still available and I had one D to fill, I was going to take him.

Are they good? I don't know. Never heard of Lubomir Visnovsky until last night (although my scouting-on-the-fly has him on the top PP unit with Anaheim and Ryan Getzlaf, Bobby Ryan and Corey Perry), but it's a long season and I can release people if they start to suck.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Ovechkin vs. Boychuk, tonight!!!

Bruins defenseman Johnny Boychuk is on the roster for tonight's preseason tilt at The Phonebooth against the Capitals. You remember Johnny Boychuk, right?

Hard to find motivation for a preseason game, but there ya go.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Pictures without words

First time seeing the Capitals in the pre-season, so I commemorated the event by finding the most un-marred piece of glass at Kettler and took some pictures. Here are a few, but they all can be seen here.

Practice begins at 11:15 sharp and not a minute (or four) before!!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Best hockey fight ever

The video cut off before Matt Bradley skated in and pummeled the bigger kid who knocked Mazza down.

"Pick on somebody your own size!! Oh and tell your mommy and daddy to recycle or your daddy's next."

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Russian Machine never shows public display of affection


(One of my favorite "Pulp Fiction" references.) Ian from Russian Machine Never Breaks and Michael Jenkins from Comcast Sports Net at the official Michael Jenkins Fan Club Party (seriously, he has a fan club).

Actually, there might be a little more "Brokeback Mountain" bromance going on!

Love never breaks

Friday, June 25, 2010

Ryan Getzlaf vs Bobby Ryan

From the NHL awards show:

Good thing they didn't see who had the biggest head because Getzlaf's noggin is like Sputnik. I'm not kidding, it's like an orange on a toothpick.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

I'm trying to tell you now it's ...

Wait for it. It's worth it.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Friday, May 21, 2010

Ovechkin vs Laich for the IIHF World Championship belt

Ovi vs Brooksie

Laich of course wouldn't have gone after Ovi because he knows Matt Bradley would have arrived with his super speed and given him a beat down.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

See you on course

Pens golf

In the "I couldn't have said it better myself" department, Jamie Fitzpatrick of about.com writes:

Despite scoring ten points in seven games in Washington's stunning loss to the Canadiens, Alex Ovechkin was called out as a flawed player who needs to develop, and compared unfavorably to Crosby, who now stood "Alone at the Top."

Now those same Canadiens have sent the NHL's poster boy packing - and Crosby managed half as many points as Ovechkin.

So will he get a similar scolding?

Or will the media coddle its favorite, as Crosby-haters have so often claimed?

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Separated at birth

Glavine doesn't look like Smoltz or Maddux

Future MLB Hall of Famer Tom Glavine (lower right, if you didn't know).

Cory Clouston

Ottawa Senators coach Cory Clouston.

Of course, you may know that Glavine was drafted in 1984 by the L.A. Kings ahead of Brett Hull and Luc Robitaile among others, but did you know he also suited up this year for the ECHL Gwinnett Gladiators?

Tom Glavine plays hockey

Monday, April 19, 2010

Friday, April 16, 2010

Angry fans are angry

In the interest of fair "journalism," here's a video of a Caps fan after the Canadiens overtime winner last night (because if this happened in Montreal to a Habs fan, I'd post it, too):

Also, embedded the video instead of linking to it so you wouldn't have the urge to join in on the YouTube comments (don't look, just don't).

Similarly, from Thursday night, someone puts her fingers in The Shark Tank after the Avalanche score with under a minute in the 3rd period:

Is the sky falling? I just think of the Capitals record the past three playoff series. They won the first one against Philly in '08 but losst the series. Last year, they lost the opener against the Rangers but ended up winning the series. Then they won the first one two against the Penguins but lost the series. It's only logical to think that since the Capitals lost last night that they will win the series. Right? Just sure would have been nice for them to put the Habs down 2-0 since they don't have nearly the firepower the Penguins did.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Pens-Sens series outlook

The Penguins and Senators each allowed more goals per game during the season than the Capitals. And the Capitals have a goalie/defense "problem"??
Shout out to "Mother Goose and Grimm."

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Just another regular season hockey game

Ovechkin padding stats

If you aren't losing, you don't have to pull the goalie.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

A little housekeeping in Knuble's office

Laich in Knuble's office

Mike Knuble doesn't mind people in his office as long as they do some housekeeping.

When you want money, go to the bank. When you want bread, go to the bakery. When you want Books, go to the library. (Hey, at least VS. didn't use a mugshot of Chris Clark.)

Monday, April 5, 2010

87 > 8

Pens fan figures out 6th grade math but has issues grasping reality

Photo from Saturday's game in Columbus between the Capitals and the Blue Jackets. She was also wearing a Sidney Crosby jersey over her Sidney Crosby T-shirt. I don't know, trolling on message boards is one thing (as is creating a free blog that sometimes mocks opposing players), but to buy a ticket for a game in another city between two other teams just so you can satisfy the insecurity complex you have developed for your boy is just plain wacky.

I'm a huge Nebraska football fan, so maybe I should start hanging out in front of Peyton Manning's house with a sign reading "Mike Rucker pwns you!"

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Monday, March 22, 2010

Struck by a Lightning

The Bolts seem to have an affection for Capitals goaltenders. It's only interference when a defenseman pushes you into his goalie, right?

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Two dozen and one Penguins


I'm not a Simpsons nerd, but this episode just sticks with me.

Happy St. Pat's Day!

Monday, March 15, 2010

Serious condition

Mr Excitement

If you watch the Capitals regularly, you've no doubt noticed Alex Semin's random acts of falling. Skating by himself with nobody around him, he falls. Then there was his failed shootout last week against Marty Turco, followed by this breakaway attempt yesterday in Chicago where he ended up sitting in Antti Niemi's lap.

He must be a real hit with the ladies.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Don't feed the Monsters

From the Bears game against the Lake Erie Monsters (Bears won their 19th straight home game, 4-1).

Haydar not Gaydar

I was wondering who heard more jokes growing up, Beagle or GHaydar?

Helmer wonders why Alzner keeps coming back to Hershey

Bourque and Perrealut aren't the same size

'Tis true. Bourque is listed at 5'10" at TSN.

We were trying to compare Bourque, Mathieu Perreault and Keith Aucoin (the greatest hockey player ever) during warmups since they are each listed at 5'9" at most places, and my money is on Perreault > Aucoin > Bourque. Somebody is lying!!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Alex Semin spotted in Vancouver

Alex Semin, not Johnny Weir

Come on, would anybody be surprised if Sasha was spotted wearing this:

Johnny Weir not Alex Semin

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Funny weird not funny ha ha

NHL refs are consistently inconsistent

Game 7 two years ago against the Flyers (around the 2:33 mark):

And then last night:

Monday, February 8, 2010

Sid vs. ...... Mr Nasty?

Crosby was probably complaining about Mr. Nasty inappropriately touching him.